Here is a old Chinese saying. It is definitely taken out of contact. The whole paragraph was decribing it is helpful for women to read widely and to deepen the understanding of the big concepts of the world. However such case is rare to happen. Most women read only the popular novels and theatrical scripts, and learn to pick fights and get themselves into dramas. Thus, it is more risky for women to read than not. At least if they do not read, they would listen to their fathers and husbands.
It is interesting that even in modern-day China, this has been recognized as an old-fashioned way to restrain women with moral, I had still been told so many times.
One time, we were carpooling home after a late rehearsal. I was sitting in the back by myself. I remember that, because I remember feeling comfrotable talking and not looking anybody in the eyes. I was telling the two people in front about a book I was reading, and it raises the feeling of fear in me. I fear that I would experience the same thing that the book describes. Passenger seat fell silent. Then the driver, who I respected a lot and still do, said 'that's why women shouldn't read'.
I was confused.
'Why do I have to be so weird? Why did I talk about this with two men? Men probably don't feel as much, since they are apparently more intellectual than emotional. Now I really should stop reading books.............or stop talking about my feelings.'
I now know there are so many aspects of humanity that I've understood by reading. And when I read, I do not just see words, I experience. But by the time, I was only ahsamed by it. It was a time my sensibility really made me feel like a weirdo because I can't seem to get my pieces back together fast enough and move on. To this day, some part me still do not want to read. Solely because I haven't admitted how much that comment hurt when I was really enthusiastic about reading.
It is not fare to accuse any individual. But do I wish it was not someone that I respected so much? Do I wish he could have told me my feelings were real but they may change and new feelings may rise? Do I wish he had identified me as a human being rather than just a woman? Do I wish I had talked to another woman with similar experience? Do I wish women were more outspoken with how they feel, so I didn't feel alone? Oh yes!
As of now, I am able to lay in bed, make myself comfortable, even light a couple candles and enjoy a great book that takes me somewhere I've never dreamt of being. And my heart and brain both roam the wild lands of logics, feelings, thoughts, inspirations, images, sounds, smells... I can't help but stop and think about him, him and a lot of other men and women out there, that is denying this thrilling and wonderful experience. And say no, thank you.